fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Pappa wants mamma naked
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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