My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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