sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
