8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
