It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
