So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
