I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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