You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
