This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
