i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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