I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
