Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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