I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
