Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
