I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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