it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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