His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
