Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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