Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
