The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
