Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
