HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
