I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
