And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
