Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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