She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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