My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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