We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
