Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
