since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
