Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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