you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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