my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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