I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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