okay pat passed out under dana's car
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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