every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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