Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
