I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
