smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
