i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
