spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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