how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
