fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
