I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
from now on my penis is your penis
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
