I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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