There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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