Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
