I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
