ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
