Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
