We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
