nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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