We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it glows. i had to have it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
