Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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