new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
