So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
