What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
