remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
