Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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