just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
