4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just high enough for therapy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
