i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
