:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
