Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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